Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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