make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
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Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
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So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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