Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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