Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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