my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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