so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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