Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
