hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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