I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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