You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize