ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
