Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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