Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize