think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
