you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
You made out with two different species that night
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
