There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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