Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
