were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
jump out the window naked night went bad
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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