My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
