The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I want her autograph on my taint
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
