They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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