Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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