I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
im on a boat
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