i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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