I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I wanna passion pit in your ass
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
