I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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