cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
