why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
