i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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