Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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