i jhust puked up my retainher.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Randomize
