We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
