please come you make the beer taste better
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Randomize
