I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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