So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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