I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
