too bad you live with your parents still
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
