Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
