there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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