if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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