so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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