If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
