what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Randomize
