Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
