Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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