I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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