if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
