i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
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