I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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