i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize