i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
