dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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