I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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