I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
