just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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