so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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