I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
