physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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