This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
