is your mom at the bar?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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