drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
