I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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