yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
