Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
