people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
